Aint She Sweet?

My honey has been sick for over a week, some type of sinus cold/ear infection thingy. Gross, I know. And despite feeling like hell, not only did she still celebrate Valentine’s Weekend with me; she made it all about me. First, she took me to see Fifty Shades of Grey (which I really enjoyed, though there was a lot of nudity, I mean a lot). Honey had no desire to see the movie, didn’t even know what it was about, but she knew I had been waiting with baited breath for it to open. She was a little scarred (did I mention there was a lot of nudity?) but she survived. She wasn’t thrilled to find out there are two more movies to come. I told her she didn’t have to go with me next time.

Next, she took me on an outing to the casino and gave me some spending cash. She knows mama likes to gamble, even though I’m really bad at it. I lost all her money pretty fast and she kindly fronted me some more. I lost most of that too, though I did recoup a little in the end. In my defense, she lost way more than me. The problem was we had reservations at the casino restaurant and well waiting for our table around all of those blinging machines was way too much temptation. Thankfully, dinner was delicious, though long—a six course meal that lasted beyond my honey’s stamina. She was whipped by the end, so I gladly took her back to the hotel room. We had a Jacuzzi room, which was fun, though apparently we were in the party central hotel. You know you’re old when you’re in bed before nine and you’re wondering why the hell everyone is making so much noise.

The piece de resistance, she went with me to see Barry Manilow on Sunday. She doesn’t particularly like Barry, but she knew I really wanted to see him, so she swallowed most of her sarcasm and watched the old guy do it one last time. I must say, Barry’s voice is in fine form and if you get a chance to see him in concert, go. This is of course his retirement tour, so you’ll have to go soon. Confession, I totally teared up when he performed Mandy. He essentially did a duet with himself from forty years ago. You had to be there. And my honey was, with me, even though she’d rather be at a Neil Diamond concert.

Oh Fifty

I cannot tell a lie, I can’t wait to see Fifty Shades of Grey. I’ve been waiting for it since the moment I knew they were turning one of my favorite books of 2011 into a movie. I’m proud to admit I was on to the Hot Mr. Grey before everyone and their mama decided they had to read the books because, well everyone and their mama was reading them. I’ve had all kinds of discussions about them ranging from whether they are true fan fiction to why the hell they are so popular.

I contend there are three reasons why the trilogy took off like hot cakes. Some folks read them just so they could see what the brouhaha was all about. I don’t understand that since for me books are so personal and I have no desire to read something just because someone else is reading it. Others read the books because of the supposed “taboo” sex. I’ve got to say America is really deprived if the sex in the FSOG books is considered taboo. I’m just saying. But really I think the books became popular because the trilogy resonated with women. They are romances, plain and simple. Women love love and if you wrap it in a rich hot guy who falls for an average girl, you’ve hit just about every girl/woman’s fantasy.

That isn’t a bad thing. Romance isn’t a bad thing, though a lot of people want us to feel ashamed about writing, reading and watching movies about it. I’m thrilled that a romance has taken America by storm, even if many originally indulged because they thought they were going to read about something racy or because they didn’t want to be left out of the national conversation. I know there are a lot of romance writers, particularly fetish writers who bitch about FSOG being a bogus BDSM book but I think they should be getting on their knees every night thanking E. L James (and Stephenie Meyer). I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gone on reader forums or read reviews and folks have said they started reading the genre because of FSOG. The more folks who read BDSM romance, the better the chance that some of those people will also read regular romance. Hey, maybe someday they’ll even read my books.

And for that I am grateful. So thank you E. L James for bringing romance to the forefront of everyone’s mind and creating more romance readers, by any means necessary. I just hope I like the movie half as much.

 

Make It or Break It

As a reader it has occurred to me that the hero of the romance novel makes it and the heroine breaks it. Let me explain myself. Think of your favorite romance. It could be a historical, a suspense or even a paranormal. I bet it has a kick ass hero. Kick ass is of course subjective, but I’m sure he’s the type of guy you could fall in love with. In fact, I bet you did fall in love with him. Whether it is because of his great looks, amazing physique, his sense of humor or how he treats the heroine, he is somebody you’d love to be trapped in an elevator with. He takes the book to a whole other level, from really good, to love it love it great. I contend Christian Grey is the reason thousands of women love Fifty Shades of Grey and not that contract, or the Red Room of Pain, the toys, or even Ana. They fell in love with Christian. When a book is awesome we fall in love with the hero and want to go with him anywhere (and everywhere).

Ever read a book and all you want to do is throw it at the wall, delete it from your e-reader, hell delete it from your brain? I bet it’s because the heroine broke the book. She’s either too bitchy, too sweet or the most hated of all, too stupid to live. And she’s ruined the book for you. You can figure out why such a great guy like the hero wants to spend time with such a skank/ass/idiot. Even though you like him, you can’t bear spending one more minute with her, so you have to kick them both out of your life. Yup, she just broke that book.  I once stopped reading a paranormal because the hero and heroine were soul mates and the heroine was in search of the hero in the beginning (she finally finds him). In the course of reading the book I find out that she isn’t a virgin. This is typically not a problem, except she’s only 21 AND SHE KNOWS SHE HAS A SOULMATE. That bitch broke my book.

As a writer I have to keep these two facts in mind. I need to create heroes you want to spend hours upon hours with (even when they are girls :) and heroines who you don’t want to leave on the side of the expressway. It is a hard balance, particularly when I find myself falling in love with my heroes and my heroines are just random chicks I put in place so I can play with Mr./Ms. Perfect. It can be a problem. I have to remember to not let her break the book. Because if she does, you’ll probably break your Kindle throwing it across the room. And I don’t want to be responsible for that J.

Guilty Pleasure

 

I have a lot of guilty pleasures, watching exercise infomercials, reading reviews for things I’ve already purchased to confirm said purchases are awesome, wearing pj’s to the McDonald’s drive thru, well you get the picture. My newest guilty pleasure is the website RejectedPrincesses.com. It is all about these crazy, sociopathic, wonderful women in history and lore who could never make it as a Disney Princess. Don’t get me wrong, Tatiana, Elsa and Merida have come a long way from their earlier incarnations (cough Cinderella,cough Sleeping Beauty, cough) but as bad-ass they could be at times, it was definitely in a PG kind of way. After escaping from a convent, this swashbuckler had the strength to chase her dreams: which were apparently to drink, fight, and womanize.

The Rejected Princesses were bad ass in a go to jail kind of way, and I love it. You’d think the mind behind this great site would be a woman, but in fact the author and illustrator is Jason Porath. He has an irreverent writing style that has me giggling every time I read his latest creation. Jason gives us a new princess once a week and it is worth the wait. This week Catalina de Erauso the Liuetenant Nun was featured. Her quick bio states: After escaping from a convent, this swashbuckler had the strength to chase her dreams: which were apparently to drink, fight, and womanize. You want to read more, don’t you J

I write romance and I love a good heroine, both figuratively and literally. I write heroines with kind hearts, who might have to do something nefarious, but always with the best of intentions. My heroines would never kill without good reason, or plot against her children or set fire to a convent so she can run away with a nun (um yeah, one of rejected princess sure did). But good grief, even if I don’t want to write about such ladies, it sure is fun reading about them. If you like to read about women with an edge (and with a side of sly humor) do yourself a favor and check out RejectedPrincesses.com, you definitely won’t regret it.

Another Resolution

I have another New Year’s resolution, for those keeping count, that now makes three. Yeah, I can’t believe I’m adding another one either, especially since I’m already struggling with the first two. Hopefully, resolution #3 will help with the others (who am I kidding).

So my new resolution is to stop buying romances for a year. What you say, stop buying books! I know, cray cray right? But I have more than 30 unread/partially read books on my Kindle, never mind the paperbacks on my bookshelf. I have got to catch up. And it isn’t like I have unread crappy books that I’m just not reading, heck no. I’ve got books about prison inmates (God I love books about prison inmates), a ton of BDSM books (God I love a good BDSM book, the operative word being good), some villains as heroes (God, there is nothing I love more than a villainous hero—I kid you not), some good ole lesbo stories (hmm) and, well you get the picture.

My problem is that I get The Craving. If you love books like I do, you understand. That craving to find something new, different and exciting hits and I HAVETO BUY A BOOK. These cravings typically come with the desire to read about a new villainous hero (told ya I wasn’t kidding). As a matter of fact, I’m fighting The Craving right now and the only thing that has kept me away from Amazon is the Rejected Princesses website (more on that another day).

It has to stop, and I have to finish the books I already own. They are good books, they have just been casualties of The Craving. My friend pointed out that my no more books resolution is everyone’s this year, which made me feel guilty. We’re abandoning authors, oh Lord. So to appease my conscience, I’m allowing myself to buy my author friends’ books (I have a lot of them), but they are going to the bottom of the pile. As usual, wish me luck J

Torn Between Two Lovers

 

 

“I love westerns and the reason I love really good westerns is because they are really classical. Their structure is like a Roman tragedy. Lots of violence, lots of vengeance and occasionally redemption. They are wonderfully brutal.” Paul Bettany

I hate to be overly dramatic, but I do feel as though I am torn between two lovers. For the last two years I’ve worked on a western historical romance. It is all about a minister turned gun for hire and the woman he’s trying to track down. I love the story and it has a lot of potential, but lacks something.  I’ve edited it and edited it again but it still needs a lot more work. Every time I read the above quote from Paul Bettany I get chills because he sums up beautifully not only how I feel about my story, but how I want my readers to feel about my book once they’ve read it. I feel as though I need to keep plugging at Luke and Honey’s story so that it can be as wonderfully brutal as Paul thinks really good westerns can be.

But then there is my other love. If you are a writer you know that for every good story you work on, there is that other story that wants to lure you away so you can bring it to life. My other story is a contemporary romance about a hot butch who only dates lesbians and the bisexual girl that she can’t get out of her head. And when I say Eli is hot, I mean she is burn your panties off hot. She keeps telling me to stop dinking around with that old western and let her come out and play. To be honest, playing with her would be really fun. Plus, I’d feel like I’ve accomplished something by writing something new instead of rehashing the old story.

So instead of writing, I’ve been in limbo, working on neither book, but thinking about both. This has to end, I need to make a decision and get my butt in the chair and my fingers on the keyboard. I’m toying with the idea of working on both. That way I can polish up my western and still get a chance to bring Eli to life. Wish me luck, I only hope Eli doesn’t wind up sounding like a nineteenth century cowboy J

A New Year A New Me?

 

Okay, I have to confess that I’m guilty. Like every other American, my New Year’s resolution is to lose weight. No big surprise, after a challenging year, I let my diet go to hell. I looked in the mirror today and thought “who is that fat chick”? Not that being fat is necessarily bad, but since I can’t fit into my clothes and I’m convinced I’m losing my hair due to what I eat/ am not eating, I think it is time for a change. So off to Weight Watchers I went. This time when I weighed in the secretary didn’t practically yell, “you’ve gained five pounds”. Um, ‘cause that is what happened the last time and I’ve definitely gained more than five pounds this go round.

But losing weight isn’t my only resolution. When I first started my blog oh so long ago, aka back in November, I promised myself that I’d write every week. I knew that wasn’t much since most folks will tell you to gain a following you need to blog a few times a week, but I at least knew myself well enough to know that once a week would be a challenge.  Then life, the holidays and family issues came calling and I fell off the wagon faster than a girl on a diet at a buffet (note to self, avoid buffets).  But Saturday changed all of that. I dreamed about this blog and about you. Yes, you, my followers. At the moment there aren’t (m)any of you but still I dreamed about your disappointment that I had broken my word about keeping this blog up to date. So I’m back, with a renewed sense of purpose. So get ready for a fun, crazy 2015. Toodles for now, I’m off to think about my next post J